Today was an ok day. Nothing too exciting happened, I was able to clean my kitchen today and pick up a little after the kids. I also succeeded in turning the television off for a short amount of time today. Lately the depression has been so bad that the TV running all day has been babysitting my kids so that I can lay on the couch and do nothing. I have barely had the energy to take care of the essentials; like changing diapers, refilling cups of juice, cleaning up spills, feeding my kids, etc. I'd clean just enough dishes for what was needed, dinners were simple and easy. For someone like myself who LOVES to cook, you know it's bad when I pull out hamburger helper. But today I cooked honey pecan pork chops and sat down with my husband to eat. I have also succeeded in getting my kids back to a bedtime routine and a good bedtime. I made the mistake of trying to let them fall asleep to a movie one night. I didn't feel like singing the bedtime songs I always sing, so I thought a movie would make up for that. WRONG. My kids were up until 10pm and were quite angry when I did not put another movie in. The next night I tried the same thing with a different movie and got the same result. (Insanity has been defined as doing the same actions over and over expecting different results. I plead guilty) After two nights of being up till 10:00pm or later they were stuck on a late bedtime and I did not have the energy to fix it. Well this week I did. They are now back to a bedtime of 8:30.

These little things are actually huge steps as I slowly come out of this depressive episode. I am starting to feel good again. And I am having more energy to take care of my family, which brings me the most joy. I love taking care of my kids. I love the "Thank you Mommy"'s I get. I love the hugs and kisses, and the ever so cute Jen getting excited when I fix her a snack and saying "For ME?! Oh thank you Mommy!" In a surprised, excited voice. Being a Mom brings me the greatest joy. I am now climbing up. Having a little more energy for the things I enjoy the most, only leads to feeling better. And as I feel better I have more energy to do things that make me feel better. I'm climbing out of the depression and it feels good.